Skip to main content

Mothers and Sons...manners and more...



The Moore River, Guilderton...it flows into the Indian Ocean

Ruby exploring among the vines

Last weekend was spent with my son at my beach house at Guilderton.  The late autumn is a wonderful time of the year;  the countryside is slowly turning from burnished beige to tentative green;  the vine leaves are dropping;  the  summer wind has gone somewhere else to wreak it’s fury;  the sun is gentle but persistent after about mid morning;  and the chilly awakenings are conducive to enveloping clothes and warming cups of tea and coffee.  





The part of me which almost continually thinks about things culinary turns to slow cooked meals, dredging up recipes from past and also recent European adventures .

St Luke's Anglican Church, Gingin, 1860
We went exploring in the region of Gingin.  There is a wonderful old church in the town, or at least old by Australian standards! We took the dogs for a walk through the cemetery behind the church, taking time to reflect on the amazing tenacity of the early English settlers in colonial Australia in difficult circumstances.

An original wooden headstone, nestled under the trees
The arid autumn landscape at the vineyard


My son has extensive experience with wine tasting and so I introduced him to a local vineyard, Riseborough, which has a Grenache Rose and Chenin  Blanc which I particularly enjoy.  We tasted, enjoyed the banter with the well versed sales assistant and walked around the vineyard. 

Delicious winetasting
With regard to manners however, it was a weekend of reflection. My son is 26. We can talk about almost everything.  As with my daughter, my son and I have a great friendship. 

Our manners, over the years, have developed.  While I would like to think that both of us have deported ourselves in an exemplary fashion over nearly three decades, the truth is that we are very similar and we have clashed on quite profound levels at various times. We have had to question our respect for each other, but our affection and most importantly love for one another, has never been impacted.  We now know each other well enough to understand when to  “back off” , to let the argument rest. Invariably when it is revisited there is no ill feeling and a respectful discussion…in which we sometimes  “agree to disagree” .

The Indian Ocean seen from the house...a 150m walk
When we are mothers of young sons, I don’t believe that any of us can envisage this emerging relationship, with these ”other men” in our lives, becoming one of our substantial, mature relationships.  However, if the relationship is well nurtured, with a  mutual desire for respect, in the long term it will become one of the most important relationships of our lives.
The arid landscape of the Riseborough vineyard in autumn
 I know that when my son finds his soul-mate, he will take the verbal arguments and affectionate makeups with his mother into his vital life relationship.  I hope that the respect he has for me, and his older sister, will ensure he is an open minded, compassionate companion and sensitive father.

Yes, my son is a lot taller than me!


I was bought up in an almost all girls’ family…my father despaired that even our dog was female!  My mother was one of three girls;  I have one sister;  I went to an all girls’ boarding school at age 11 and then to an all girls’ grammar school.  To have a son in 1985 was a wonder  for me…and confronting.
 
To be able to share a weekend with my son, full of laughter, good conversation, some healthy disagreements…and cooking…is a source of enormous pleasure…

Comments

  1. Wow, Your son is really tall ... and very handsome. Did you know that he has your smile? Lovely photo of the two of you! Martine

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, he is tall and as you can see Martine I fit neatly under his arm. And yes, his smile is similar to mine!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks so much for your visit and your comment, much appreciated. Sounds like you had a great weekend with your sons.

    I have only been around the vineyards in Adelaide but I love Australian wine. Cheers Diane. "Manners maketh man"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Diane, thank you for your comment. Maybe one day you will have a chance to visit Margaret river in the south west to sample some stunning wines...if you can bear to leave France! I enjoy your blog immensely...

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boyfriend, Manfriend, Partner, Companion…a new word required….

Dance "partners" (microsoft) I read a really interesting article the other day written by a Generation Y male lamenting that his girlfriend no longer referred to him as her “boyfriend”, but in an overheard conversation as her “partner”.  He took exception to this expression writing: “I must have missed the memo on my sexless new categorisation – I would certainly not have approved it.  A ‘partner’ is someone you twirl around at a barn dance”. (Andy Jones, Grazia magazine) I have had a business partner;  there are partners in law, stockbroking and accounting firms. And so to refer to my personal life-sharer as a partner was not comfortable for me. But despite the fact that the English language is alive and evolving, there is not a word or an expression to reflect the status of one’s “life companion” whether in a gay or straight relationship if not committed to, or already married. The word “companion” actually applies in both French and Italian. Although in Engl

Bali…Bogans, Tattoos and the Ugly Australian…

Balinese temple (photo LP 2010) I have returned in the past few days from a holiday in Bali, Indonesia, with my sister.  Unlike my trip in 2010 when I stayed more remotely in the north west at Pemuteran  and  the north east at Amed, this visit was to a five star resort in Legian. What a difference!  The streets of Legian were very busy, the locals almost outnumbered by the Australian tourists.  I heard very few languages other than “Aussie” spoken and it reminded me that when I travelled with my French boyfriend to the northern part of Bali, I was told by the Europeans I met that they tended to avoid the tourist hubs of Kuta, Legian and Seminyak because of the loud, rude and crude Australians…yes a generalisation about the Aussies, but unfortunately, as I was to learn, a correct one. A friendly local trying to sell us a toy (photo LP 2012) It is difficult to write this post without appearing a “snob”.  But having canvassed my ideas with friends, acquaintances, col

Friendships...gold and silver...real and virtual...priceless!

My 21st birthday dinner...Oh so formal then! I was talking with a friend the other day about friendship.  About how it impacts on our lives, from childhood and teenage friends, to becoming friends with boyfriends’s friends, husband’s friends and their wives, parents of other school children, social club friends,  friends after divorce or death of a partner, passing friendships, acquaintances…and now virtual friends. It’s complicated. And I am finding in my “middle” years that my need for friends has reduced…not that I don’t value and cherish my friends, but my actual need has lessened.  Why, I wonder?  I used always be a “People who need People” (with apologies to whoever wrote the song made famous in  Funny Girl ) sort of a person.  I was always out and about, making sure that I saw my friends, knew all that was going on with them and theirs.  Afternoon tea for the girls...with bubbles! However, as the years have moved on, my children have become independent