Aussie Bush Etiquette...manners...or not!

(Source unknown) This is  humorous etiquette advice sent to me by a friend…we Australians can be quite irreverent...… ************************************************************

"Aussie Bush Etiquette is recognized throughout the civilized world but we all need to be reminded from time to time. In General:   1.       Never take an open stubby (a beer can)  to a job interview... 2.       Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them. 3.       It's tacky to take an Esky (a portable cooler)  to church. 4.       Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your ute (an open back utility vehicle) and trailer to the funeral.  The vastness of Australia...  Guilderton, Western Australia (photo LP) Eating Out:   1.       When decanting wine from the box (a wine carton) tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine. 2.       If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.  An Aussie Sheep Farmer (source unknown)   Entertaining at Home:   1.       A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.. 2.       Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.  On the road to Hutt River Province, Outback Western Australia (photo LP)   Theatre/Cinema Etiquette:   1.       Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends. 2.       Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen.  Tests have proven they can't hear you.  Between Kalbarri and Shark Bay, Western Australia (photo LP)   Weddings:   1.       Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift. 2.       For the groom, at least, rent a tux (a tuxedo). A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance. Cassowary bird crossing sign, Tropical Far North Queensland (photo LP) Driving Etiquette:   1.       Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the roo's (a kangaroo) in your rifle sight. 2.       When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar (a bar on the front of vehicle to protect it in case of an accident with a kangaroo)doesn't always have the right of way.  3.       Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.  4.       When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too. " ************************************************************ These "gems of advice" are obviously written in humour...or are they?! Sunset over the Indian Ocean, Guilderton, Western Australia (photo LP)