The Dalai Lama in Melbourne (photo Justin McManus, The Age)
It
has been a fortnight in which bad manners have unfortunately had front and
centre stage. These manners have not only been exemplified by our politicians,
readying for the battle of a looming Federal Election, and some of the
journalists who report on their campaign; they have also dominated the headlines of the
newspapers about the battle for appropriate behaviour on Western Australia’s
public transport system.
And
I use the word “battle” cautiously. It
seems as if so much of Australian society, from the top down, is in “battle”
mode. Common courtesy and considerate
gestures seem to have no place in this “lucky country”. Unlike most of the world, while Australia
endures some economic turbulence, we have nothing of the scale of Europe, for example.
I
have been interviewed a few times this week about manners in our society. Tomorrow, following on from an interview I
gave for the Sunday Tímes newspaper, Channel Nine Perth is interviewing me
about the rude, racist and inappropriate social behaviour encountered by
commuters on Perth’s public transport system.
People
are quick to blame the youth of today for inappropriate public behaviour…the
lack of respect for the elderly, the pregnant woman with her arms filled with
parcels, the woman with a wriggling toddler who needs to sit. Posters on the
trains remind commuters to give up one’s seat to those in need, but these
manners appear rarely, it would seem, in
our society. As I was quoted in the article: "Many lack respect but they are not born bad-mannered…they learn that behaviour”.
I
am in the fortunate position of being able to travel internationally a few
times a year, through Asia and more particularly Europe. Public transport is the principle mode of transport in most of these countries.
In Hong Kong and Singapore, for example, the trains are crowded, the
platforms are always filled, but people are respectful of their fellow
commuters…and their personal space.
Mobile telephone use is kept to a discrete, hand over the mouth, level; while
eye contact is generally avoided, polite attention to those in nearby proximity
is acknowledged.
And
it is the same in Europe. When
travelling on the TGV and the Metro lines passengers are aware of
the luggage and personal space requirements of their fellow passengers There is very little loud discussion, people seem naturally to speak in subdued voices
while in crowded spaces.
The
same cannot be said of the commuters on trains here in Perth. Undertaking some research I encountered
mothers loudly, and without consideration for the other passengers, admonishing
their children; young adults showing
absolutely no regard for their fellow travellers with feet on the seats, bags
strewn across the aisles; and appalling
language during each journey.
And
so while the public are failing to display good manners on the trains, it seems lack of consideration is also evident in the air. I recently took
a flight to Paris from Singapore and used the bathroom before take-off, after a fellow male passenger, who was not an Australian. As it was to be a 12 hour flight, I was
embarrassed but felt obliged to advise the attendant that the male passenger
had been unable to use the facility appropriately and that she may have to
attend to the deluge…enough said. Again, it would appear that there was a total
lack of respect for fellow passengers...perhaps it is an international problem after all?
And
now, you may ask, how do we combat this societal thoughtlessness and rudeness?
A contributor to The West Australian newspaper, Zoltan Kovacs, wrote last
weekend that “The tendency today is to admire behaviour that is crass
or outlandish…we are invited to celebrate mediocrity, at best”. He suggested “As
a society, we seem to have lost respect for scholarship, for intellectual
accomplishment and integrity.... Perhaps the behaviour
of our politicans reflects this…"
Children are being taught a Code of Behaviour...from manners to social skills...(Photo The West Australian newspaper) |
I was asked yesterday to comment on a code of behaviour which
has been implemented by a well kown High School which included such “common sense” suggestions as
saying please and thank you, as basics. I
suggested that it seemed a shame that a school required such elementary manners
as a code of behaviour, but I was able to offer that so often these fundamental
elements of appropriate social discourse are no longer taught in the home, in
fact not even encountered.
With
the changing face of the family, often via dislocation and the imperative of two
working parents, in many cases the opportunity for families, in whatever
guise, to sit and discuss aspects of their lives and working days has been
reduced, either by time or inclination. The consequence has been that many
children and young adults have little,
or no knowledge, of appropriate table manners of the more “old fashioned”
variety involving cutlery and conversation.
This
is not the fault of the young…or of their parents. It is not a fault game, but rather a
situation which should be addressed in a positive fashion.
When
I was recently in France for an extended period I regularly saw young French
boys and girls enthusiastically embracing the family Sunday lunch at a
restaurant…without an electronic toy in sight. They clearly enjoyed the food, the
multi faceted family occasion and the freedom which was accorded them as a
result of appropriate behaviour.
I
also read a wonderful article this past weekend in The Weekend Australian
newspaper which reported on the recent visit of the Dalai Lama. During his visit he addressed the Young Minds
Conference and the article stated that ethnics is at the top of his agenda.
The
journalist reported: “We live in a
secular world, the Dalai Lama says, and it will take secular principles – not religion
– to promote compassion and ethical behaviour on a wider scale…As the world
leans more and more towards materialism and external validation, secular ethics
should be formally taught from kindergarten through to university, he says.”
So
perhaps a general code of behaviour, for all levels of our society should be
shaped…not by rules but by choice…manners, or merely mutual respect?
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