Saturday, October 8, 2016

Somewhere, Somehow, Someday...Love and other Matters...



I am the child of parents who knew all the words to all of the musicals of the '50's and '60's, and my mother's favourite movie was West Side Story...so this song by Barbra Streisand and Josh Grogan was part of my emotional development. And as I reflect on my life of love and longing, it resonates with a singular truth.

Recently I was asked by a friend for advice about her love life because, as she offered, she respected mine.  Well, that certainly opened the repository of memories!

I have loved and been loved.  My first love is still in my life, albeit from the other side of the world.  We are friends who share memories of a teen love, but a very real love which impacted on both of our lives and remains a testimony to the innocence of youth. My children's father remains one of the great loves, and friends, of my life.

So many of the friends I have loved, and sometimes lost, remain in my heart.  As I explained to my friend, friends can be loved without being lovers.

But when we choose to become lovers the relationship necessarily takes on another dimension...one of sheer joy, happiness,  trust, respect, fear of loss, confidence and clarity of self, and empathy for the other in the whirlpool of emotion which is all encompassing, and becomes the love.

And when lovers choose to explore their special moment in time together the trust should be paramount. But as testified by so many in poignant musical revelations this is not always the case.

I have had my heart splintered at times.  And the splinters helped remind me of the fragility of the heart which loves unconditionally.

But five years ago, I actually had my heart broken.  The crack consumed me both emotionally and physically for a few years.  I had trusted someone who shared with me a long distance relationship. Our loving friendship gave me confidence to challenge myself in ways which I had never considered.  I embraced a new country, I climbed glaciers, I snorkelled in remote island locations...and I loved unconditionally.

And so my advice to my friend with her love life? Love like there is no tomorrow and respect, trust,  and laugh.

My broken heart has had a benefit; with the knowledge of such intense emotional pain I have been able to appreciate literature differently, in both English and French.

And to fall in love again with a wonderful man and be in a mutually respectful and trusting relationship.


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