MANNERS AND OTHER MATTERS

I am the child of parents who knew all the words to all of the musicals of the '50's and '60's, and my mother's favourite movie was West Side Story. ..so this song by Barbra Streisand and Josh Grogan was part of my emotional development. And as I reflect on my life of love and longing, it resonates with a singular truth. Recently I was asked by a friend for advice about her love life because, as she offered, she respected mine.  Well, that certainly opened the repository of memories! I have loved and been loved.  My first love is still in my life, albeit from the other side of the world.  We are friends who share memories of a teen love, but a very real love which impacted on both of our lives and remains a testimony to the innocence of youth. My children's father remains one of the great loves, and friends, of my life. So many of the friends I have loved, and sometimes lost, remain in my heart.  As I explained to my friend, friends can be loved without...

The floral memorial in Martin Place, Sydney (photo news.au) This time last week most Australians were riveted to the live streaming of the hostage situation in the Lindt Cafe in Sydney's Martin Place;  tragically the outcome was the deaths of two of the hostages. The situation was made particularly poignant for me because my daughter  knew the husband of one of the hostages and had spoken to him as he raced to the cafe where he knew his wife regularly enjoyed her morning coffee with colleagues after hearing of the hostage situation.  Australia has reacted to this crisis in a spirit of "mateship" and mutual support.  As the floral memorial has continued to grow at the scene politicians, local Sydneysiders, visitors from other States and from other countries, children and the elderly have made a pilgrimage into the centre of the city which, despite the tragedy, is filled with preparations for Christmas and the other religious occasions which occur at ...

A little hand feeling spring for the first time... This post is not so much about manners but spring...its influences and inspirations.  While I have written about spring and its impact on me previously, somehow this year the burgeoning rose buds, and flourishing new wisteria plumes have meant so much more.   Spring for me has always had a huge influence...the change in the light as the dawn calls me at 5.30 for a walk along the river with my dog...somehow the energy of the light infuses me with enthusiasm.  Ruby and I revel in the dawn light... And this year I have become  a grandmother for the first time; it is an extraordinary experience and can give, if one accepts it, a new view of the life which remains to be lived. The opportunities which are offered are more shiny somehow...the difficulties which were part of the last two or three decades somehow feel now like necessary experiences... I live a modern life.  My grandchild lives ...

Cindy and Ruby watching the spring rain overflow, Gingin, WA  I have had a break from blogging for three months for no reasons, other than "blogger's block", and travel opportunities which unfortunately cooincided with my making some rather substantial renovations to my home.  With the arrival of spring and my decision not to "downsize" just yet, a long overdue "cosmetic transformation" was made on my home of 22 years. The "transformation" begins, August 2013 And during the transformation, some changes occurred in my family as well.  I find that each year the arrival of spring tends to bring on not only nature's transformations but life's as well, some welcome, others not. The most important transformation has been for my daughter and her husband. Spring ushered in their news that they are expecting their first child together, and my first grandchild, in autumn next year; already I have a room in newly renovated ...

Class of 1973, CCGGS, Canberra, Australia An invitation to attend the 40th Reunion of the Class of '73 at the Canberra Church of England Girls' Grammar School has recently arrived, in a very modern manner, via a closed group on Facebook. For the "girls"with whom I have already spoken, it had been a surreal moment in time...is it really 40 years since we left school.? We all know we have changed, have had major life experiences along the way, and so why is it that we all feel so much the same? I have been thinking about the concepts and realities of friendship. I met my first girlfriend on my first day at school in 1961 at Loreto Convent Kirribilli, in Sydney.  We were seated next to each other and when we emerged from our very first day at "big school" we found our anxious mothers standing beside their cars speaking with each other.  For both of them it was the first day at school for their first born...many years later I was to empathise ...

(C) Nouvelles Images S.A. Jean-Michel Labat et Florence Rouquette 2006 My daughter has become a mother for the first time in the past year and is having another baby at the end of the year. For any mother, or father, this is a time of happiness...and reflection  The changing nature of one's child's journey through life encourages thoughts of the past...of  a little girl growing up,  always organised and forward thinking..."Where is our next adventure Mumma?  What are we going to do in our next holiday break?  Mumma I'm going on Rotary Exchange to Japan for two months...Mumma  I ruptured my anterior cruciate ligament skiing in Japan, but I'm not coming home yet... Mumma I am going to go to East Timor as a volunteer with my University, just after the UN arrives,  to teach English at a remote school with the little children...Mumma I'm going to America on University Exchange...Mumma I bungee jumped into Acapulco Bay for my 21st birthday...Mumma...

Sculptures by the Sea...Bondi to Bronte beaches, Sydney 2012 (photo the author)  It has been an interesting week.  I had a trip back to Canberra, the national capital of Australia, where I finished my high schooling, and to where I returned after a year in Washington DC at our Embassy, to work for six years in the personal offices of two Australian Prime Ministers. As a woman in her early twenties they were days filled with wonder…about the people I met and worked with, the machinations of government at a time when Australia was going through major political changes and about the love affairs I had  and people I enjoyed as I matured over those six years. I read a great quote the other day before I left for Canberra which captured the essence of what I think friendship is all about…it talked about friends being the people with whom you can pick up up the telephone and talk as if months, or even years have not passed... I have friends around the world with...

A gift from my son, published 1971 My son recently returned from a brief holiday in Italy.  He is now in his mid 20’s. With his sister and me he first visited in 1997 when  the three of us travelled through the UK and Europe for six weeks so that I could show the children the wider world.  As their father is an Italian-Australian it was important to me that they knew of their heritage…my French/English background and their Italian background.  Needless to say it was a wonderful  and very bonding trip.  My son also visited Italy in 2005 when he attended a language school in Florence with his father for two months.  So he was not unfamiliar with the language and the culture, and so a great help to his travelling “mate”. I never expect gifts from my children when they are travelling, or at any other time, actually.  But my son bought me the most thoughtful of gifts which he found in a little bookshop in Rome and as he said:  “Mumma I just had...

Dance "partners" (microsoft) I read a really interesting article the other day written by a Generation Y male lamenting that his girlfriend no longer referred to him as her “boyfriend”, but in an overheard conversation as her “partner”.  He took exception to this expression writing: “I must have missed the memo on my sexless new categorisation – I would certainly not have approved it.  A ‘partner’ is someone you twirl around at a barn dance”. (Andy Jones, Grazia magazine) I have had a business partner;  there are partners in law, stockbroking and accounting firms. And so to refer to my personal life-sharer as a partner was not comfortable for me. But despite the fact that the English language is alive and evolving, there is not a word or an expression to reflect the status of one’s “life companion” whether in a gay or straight relationship if not committed to, or already married. The word “companion” actually applies in both French and Italian. Although in ...

I have been reading “The Men in your Life”,   by Geneviève Antoine Dariaux,   published in 1968.    It was given to me by a friend as I have recently had a long relationship with a Frenchman.   It makes for fascinating reading, divided as it is into alphabetical subjects, covering all aspects of relationships with advice for both men and women.   It speaks of earlier days and often different morals and values to those we consider normal today and is of course presented from a French perspective. It gave me some laughs, and some reasons for deeper thought. Madame Dariaux remains firmly of the opinion that women should nurture their men – fathers, husbands, lovers, sons – in order to hang on to some semblance of order and control in their lives. And she believes that infidelity should be viewed on a case by case basis.  So…here are a few extracts, taken directly from the book… Adultery: Madame…it is far more serious a matter for yo...